What is Normal ?

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Minutes from 1-3-2008

Video of Dr. Walsh - National Institute on Media & Family

"More, Easy, Fast, and Fun" - discipline deficit disorder (DDD)

What is a "normal" school day like for you?

Sophomore: Get up early, wake up as you go along; hang out w/friends afterwards

Junior: Bible study, classes, sports lots of homework

Senior: Wake up early, morning meetings, classes, say "hi" to everyone, homework, sleep, repeat

Mrs. Loberg: Less conflict between students this year

Is it an invasion of privacy to check child's My Space page?

Staff: No, you should check it but tell them and why

Senior: Parents should check but kids should be able to block some things

Staff: Give kids some freedom but if activities are illegal, talk to them

What is most important to you?

Senior: People around me, parents

Sophomore: Cell phones/IPods

Junior: Friends are support system, self-expression (parents shouldn't dictate)

Junior: Independence . Parents need to balance it.

Junior: Trust w/my parents. Relationships w/friends

What is the best way for parents to help kids deal w/pressure for material things?

Senior: Kids should get a job and earn it themselves.

Staff & Sophomore: Parents shouldn't just give items. Kids should work for it (not too much) then they'll take better care of it.

Senior: Parents can reward kids on the right track.

Junior: There's not a lot of pressure. Some kids expect it.

What worries you the most? How can parents help?

Counselor: Kids say pressure. Kids need coping skills, they turn to high risk behaviors to deal with it.

Sophomore: Letting people down, teachers, friends. Parents help me balance.

Senior: My friends' decisions, if they're doing the right things..

Junior: Time management. Tough w/hard classes and extracurriculars.

Junior: Stress from all sides. How I'll cope w/it.

How do you know if your friends are stressed?

Junior: Panic

Junior: Irritability. When you see, back off a little or make time management suggestions.

Senior: Kids take it out on parents

Senior: Irritable or shut others out. Just have to push through. Sometimes breakdowns, then parents should be there for you.

Staff: Changes, in friends, behavior, appetite. If you're not sure, parents can come to counselors.

My son dislikes school. How do I change that?

Staff: Great support here; mentors can be assigned. They need to be involved in things.

Sophomore: Parents can check out options and recommend ways to get involved.

Senior: It might be that they don't like classes or afraid they won't pass. Are they involved? Might be they're focusing on one small part of school like one bad class one bad teacher or a friendship gone bad..

Senior: Encourage kids to get involved.

Staff: Do they have interests related to classes? Find common interests & classes.

Junior: They might be trying to tell you that they need help w/schoolwork.

Staff: My daughter didn't like new school. Encouraged her to try some new groups. Last, she found a paid internship and loves it now.

If your driver has been drinking, would you still ride w/them or call home?

Senior: Call my parents.

Sophomore: You should have an arrangement w/your parents. No questions asked.

Senior: I'd drive her car home. I wouldn't leave her at the party alone.

Senior: I wouldn't call parents to report party. We have secret words so they know I need help.

Junior: Most kids wouldn't want to get in trouble; they'd look for another option.

Staff: Parents are crucial; you must talk to them! Parents shouldn't have to drive home other drunk kids.

To John Wurm: How do you motivate and get to know kids?

Wurm: Get to know the kids. Spend time helping them feel comfortable. Student interaction is a big priority.

Loberg: Have other kids over to your house. Learn their names, get to know them. Feed them!

Do you have friends who talk about suicide? Why? What do you do?

Senior: I had a friend who was depressed, got counseling. Be a good friend, listen, have a strong support group.

Police Staff: If we get a call, we put them on 72 hour hold/watch, go to hospital in an ambulance. Parent can go in front or drive separately. Doctor does evaluation.

Junior: More than one friend. Lots of pressure pushed them into it. Parents need to support, accept kid & flaws, love them.

Senior: I have several friends who have. Parents have to reach out.

Junior: Kids should go to counseling office for help.

Police Staff: Sometimes friends don't want to talk about it. Sometimes others say "they're just seeking attention". Important question is why?

Loberg: Some self medicate or isolate themselves. Some kids and young adults are drinking themselves to death.

Junior: Parents should be open w/kids.

Senior: Some parents are too accepting of drinking these days. Kids need serious consequences.

Senior: Mixed messages from parents. You have to encourage kids to be involved in clubs/sports, then they have more to lose if they drink or do drugs.

Junior: Parents should monitor where the kids are going. Call ahead, ask about drinking. Help by not allowing them to go to drinking parties.

Police Staff: Too many parents allow it/don't think it's a big deal.

What would you do if you're at a party and friends drink/do drugs? Would you tell your parents? Would you still be their friend?

Junior: Tell them they're disrespecting me.

Senior: I would try to help them stop before I told my parents.

Junior: Tell friends your standards. It'll help them keep higher ones themselves.

Staff: Some kids can't stop themselves; they may need proof, help. Ms. Brenno has confidentiality, kids can come to her.

What are appropriate riding privileges for sophomores when friends get licenses?

Senior: One person in the car for first year is a good rule.

Junior: Parents need to monitor. Know how good a driver they are.

Driving privileges to/from school? Curfews?

Police: 15-17 home by 11 p.m., 12 on Friday & Saturday nights.
16-17 year olds cannot use cell phones while driving.
After curfew, parents notified if kids not on way home.

Sophomore: No set curfew, whatever time we agree on.

Gas/How many kids in car?

Junior: I always tell my parents where, with whom.

Sophomore: Weather makes a difference.

Senior: I have to pay for gas, others should have to!

Junior: Speeding tickets teach you!

On school nights, rules about texting?

Senior: Kids don't need phones overnight.

Senior: Friends might have emergencies but you shouldn't otherwise after 10.

Senior: Kids will be too tired. They should be reasonable.

Staff: Parents need to set limits. Sense of entitlement now. "Bag it and tag it" rule here was tough at first, now accepted.

Senior: I use my phone for an alarm clock.

Staff: Computer time should be monitored too. Take power cord w/you. Save yourself lots of money on software that is designed to block access to various sites.

Would the district start school later?

Senior: Late start Mondays are great.

Loberg: Task force a few years ago looked at later times. Elementary can't wait for buses in the dark, Jr. High can't get home before high school.

Senior: I like the start time.

Senior: "Fight the good fight, Mrs. Loberg."

Levy Consequences

Junior: How will it impact lower participation number sports like cross country?

Loberg: $400,000 will be cut from extracurriculars.

Staff: We don't know.

Loberg: Elementary school closures, higher class sizes, loss of teachers. Article in Osseo MG Press yesterday about school funding. That's the issue. Most of funds go to pay teachers - they deliver the services. I'm nervous about cutting good teachers. It won't be the same next year.